Rock On: Powerful Gemstones for Every Sign – MyDaily Horoscopes.

Gemstones are more than just pretty ornaments. These natural, earth-based beauties also have the power to heal, protect, relax and clarify, and certain gemstones are particularly beneficial for each Sun sign (not to mention your Moon and Rising signs as well).

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Diamond: Like Aries, a sign known for its strength and survival skills, the diamond is the hardest of the gems. It carries masculine energy, evoking your inner warrior and helping you to pursue your goals and persevere in challenging times. Considered the stone of innocence and purity, this precious gem also assists you with attaining spiritual clarity and speaking your heart’s truth. Associated with wealth, the diamond can help you attract abundance in all areas of life.
Bloodstone: A deep green stone with red specks, bloodstone (also known as heliotrope) can help calm, center and ground overwrought Aries energy, especially in survival situations. Bloodstone is traditionally associated with many healing properties, including removing energy blocks, releasing emotional traumas and aligning the chakras. It is said to increase courage and enhance the intellect, while lessening confusion and anxiety.
Additional gemstones associated with Aries: jasper, ruby, carnelian, garnet

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Amber: Amber is not actually a stone but the petrified resin of trees that once grew in forests along the Baltic sea — appropriately earthy origins for nature-loving Taurus. Amber’s gold-orange color is known for grounding and stabilizing higher spiritual energies into the physical body. Its influence is simultaneously calming and energizing, enhancing patience, protection and balance. Amber is said to absorb negative energy, thereby promoting the body’s ability to heal itself.
Rose quartz: Traditionally associated with Venus, the planetary ruler of Taurus, this beautiful pink stone opens and heals the heart. Rose quartz is recommended for all love-related matters, whether you are recovering from a painful relationship, interested in attracting a new romance, or simply looking to get in touch with your true feelings. Rose quartz can strengthen self-worth, thereby helping you feel deserving of love. Its gentle vibration radiates peace and calm, soothing sensitive emotions.
Additional gemstones associated with Taurus: turquoise, blood coral, emerald, sapphire

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
Agate: Mentally active (and sometimes hyperactive) Gemini can benefit from the grounding and calming influence of this stone. By strengthening the body’s connection to the earth, Agates enhance courage and vitality while protecting from energy drains and stress. Considered a stone of harmony, the Agate can inspire the Twins’ multiple personalities to come into a state of balance and integration. Carry or wear agate when you have to make an important decision — this stone will sharpen your sight, stimulate your intellect and dispel fears.
Citrine: Appropriate for brainy Gemini, citrine was traditionally called the stone of the mind. Citrine enhances mental clarity and opens the mind to new ways of thinking. By strengthening the intellect, this stone diminishes irrational mood swings and promotes a sense of well-being and self-confidence. Citrine is also known as the lucky “Merchant’s Stone,” bringing success and prosperity, especially in the realm of business and commerce.
Additional gemstones associated with Gemini: chrysoprase, pearl, moonstone, white sapphire

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Moonstone: This magical gemstone is, not surprisingly, associated with the Moon, Cancer’s planetary ruler. Moonstone is said to absorb the healing power of the Moon, and the most powerful time to wear it is during a Full Moon. Moonstone offers protection for Cancer’s sensitive nature while enhancing intuition, feminine energies and psychic abilities. Considered a stone of inner growth and spiritual perception, moonstone is an excellent ally during meditation. Additionally, moonstone brings success in both love and business.
Pearl: Cancer’s ever-shifting emotional tides are supported by the pearl, which attunes its wearer to the ebb and flow of life while providing a calming and centering influence. Traditionally called the “Mother Stone,” the pearl resonates with Cancer’s maternal energy, fostering motherly love and protection. Pearls are also said to increase fertility. On a material level, they attract fame and wealth.
Additional gemstones associated with Cancer: emerald, ruby

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22)
Tourmaline: Tourmaline is often associated with the heart, the part of the body ruled by Leo. This stone can help you open yourself to love and it enhances compassion, happiness and serenity. Leo is a naturally creative sign, and tourmaline provides added inspiration — or can help jumpstart the process if you’re feeling blocked. Tourmaline strengthens your ability to manifest your goals, and it attracts abundance and prosperity as it makes others more receptive to your talents. Traditionally used as a meditation stone, tourmaline is also considered helpful for channeling.
Carnelian: Carnelian’s warm red-orange color resonates with Leo’s innate vivacity and can provide an extra boost of energy. This stone supports healthy self-expression, self-assertion, individuality and courage and is considered one of the best allies for promoting your talents and manifesting your desires. Also considered to have protective properties, carnelian is particularly associated with protection from envy, gossip and anger.
Additional gemstones associated with Leo: sardonyx, onyx, golden topaz

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22)
Blue sapphire: Considered a sacred stone in Buddhism, the blue sapphire brings order and clarity to the mind, thereby increasing your ability to access spiritual wisdom. Since Virgo is prone to anxiety and worry — populating the mind with distracting or unproductive thoughts — this gemstone is particularly useful. The color blue is traditionally associated with the heavens, and Virgo benefits from this reminder of a higher perspective. Blue sapphire also increases mental flexibility, helping Virgos release hardened attitudes and open themselves to new possibilities.
Jasper: Ameliorating the Virgo tendency toward hyper-analysis, jasper helps you reconnect with your earthy, feminine nature, including sensuality and healthy sexuality. Jasper comes in many colors, and while each variation holds particular healing powers, all colors are said to balance emotions and vibrations in the body. A stone of gentleness and relaxation, jasper can assist an ever-busy Virgo to take a break and experience peace and comfort.
Additional gemstones associated with Virgo: carnelian, jade, moss agate

Libra (Sept. 23 –-Oct. 22)
Lapis lazuli: Considered a stone of universal truth and friendship, lapis is said to foster harmony in relationships — always a priority for significant-other-oriented Libra. At the same time, lapis supports expressing your authentic self and inner truth, which can sometimes be challenging for this peace-seeking sign. Highly valued for its spiritual properties, lapis helps you to access sacred knowledge, expand consciousness, communicate with your spirit guides and purify your mind and soul.
Opal: Libra readily appreciates the qualities of this lovely and seductive stone, which stimulates the erotic nature. Opal helps release inhibitions and embrace spontaneity, ameliorating the Libran tendency to mentally evaluate all sides of a situation — and therefore postpone taking action. Opals contain water, correlating with the emotional realm, and bring to the surface feelings that have been repressed. One of the seven sacred stones of the Cherokees, opal is also valued for its spiritual properties, helping open the mind to mysticism and higher wisdom.
Additional gemstones associated with Libra: emerald, rose quartz, peridot (chrysolite)

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
Aquamarine: The name of this beautiful blue gemstone refers to the ocean and resonates with Scorpio’s watery nature. The element Water represents the emotional realm, and Scorpio’s waters run deep — so deep, in fact, that this sign sometimes gets lost in the depths. Aquamarine can soothe Scorpio’s intense emotions and counteract the forces of darkness, bringing a sense of tranquility, as well as clear insight, to underlying feelings. By aligning the physical and spiritual bodies, aquamarine can help you attune to higher levels while remaining grounded.
Black obsidian: This powerful stone — which is actually natural glass formed from lava — absorbs darkness and converts it into light. Obsidian enhances Scorpio’s innate transformational and occult powers. The color black symbolizes mastery over the physical plane, and black obsidian is said to draw higher forces into the body to be used in pragmatic ways. Black obsidian acts as a mirror, reflecting any imperfections in one’s nature and magnifying fears and insecurities. In this way, any dark areas are brought into the light to be released or healed.
Additional gemstones associated with Scorpio: topaz, beryl, Apache tear, coral

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
Turquoise: Valued as a sacred stone in many spiritual traditions, turquoise helps truth-seeking Sagittarius attune to higher consciousness. Additionally, turquoise is considered a communication stone, enhancing a speaker’s eloquence, honesty and creativity — and offsetting the Sagittarian foot-in-mouth syndrome. Turquoise improves the mind by increasing intuition, sensitivity and positive thinking, resulting in a calmer mental state that leads to greater wisdom.
Topaz: Although naturally buoyant and optimistic, Sagittarius sometimes loses faith, and topaz can be a great ally in releasing negativity and returning to joy and love. Topaz can help you meditate upon and visualize your desires, then take action to manifest them. By assisting you to connect with universal energies, Topaz brings insight into what is needed for the highest good of all. The ancient Romans dedicated this gemstone to Jupiter — Sagittarius’ ruling planet — which is associated with success, confidence, expansion, faith and self-realization.
Additional gemstones associated with Sagittarius: sapphire, amethyst, ruby

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Ruby: By enhancing confidence, courage and joy, ruby can compensate for the Capricorn tendency toward melancholy and negativity. Ruby’s deep red color strengthens the heart and invites love for self, others and Spirit. Capricorn has a well-deserved reputation as the hardest-working sign of the zodiac, and ruby is a great ally in restoring depleted energy reserves and promoting stamina, vitality and strength. Ruby is said to increase generosity as well as attract abundance and prosperity.
Black onyx: This deeply grounding stone enhances the Capricorn traits of perseverance, spiritual strength and humility. Black onyx absorbs or deflects any negativity in your environment, helping you to stay focused on the task at hand. If you’re feeling victimized by external influences, Black onyx can bring back the sense that you are the master of your own fate. Black onyx is also considered useful for letting go of the past and promoting healthy change, as well as releasing old beliefs that no longer serve you.
Additional gemstones associated with Capricorn: garnet, agate

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Garnet: If Aquarians get stuck in the mental realm, garnet can help bring this sign back into the body by boosting sexual energy, passion, sensuality and general vitality. Friends and community are of great importance to Aquarius, and garnet both stabilizes relationships and enhances popularity. Garnet is said to promote success in business and improve higher education and professional prospects. On a spiritual level, garnet heightens clairvoyant abilities and is considered a powerful ally for accessing the wisdom of dreams.
Sugilite: One of the newest and rarest gemstones, sugilite has been associated with the New Age — otherwise known as the Age of Aquarius. This deep purple stone is considered to have powerful healing and metaphysical properties. Sugilite balances and integrates mind, body and spirit; opens the psyche to higher states of consciousness; and supports the ability to channel. Additionally, sugilite opens the heart to unconditional, divine love, balancing the Aquarian tendency to live in the mind.
Additional gemstones associated with Aquarius: amethyst, moss agate, opal

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
Amethyst: Hyper-sensitive and energy-absorbent Pisces can greatly benefit from amethyst, which repels vibrations that the body does not need. Calming both the mind and nervous system, amethyst has been called “nature’s tranquilizer,” and is useful for releasing tension and soothing anxiety. Amethyst can also assist with healing from grief and releasing addictions, and supports general emotional stability. Considered an excellent meditation stone, amethyst enhances psychic abilities and spiritual awareness.
Jade: A highly revered stone in Asian cultures, jade is said to provide a link between earth and spirit. This quality can be helpful for Pisces, a sign associated with escapism and addictions due to the challenge of integrating higher consciousness on the earthly plane. During stressful times, jade can help reduce anxiety, worry and fear, bringing in a sense of peace, balance and confidence. Jade helps you accept things as they are, enabling you to move forward and take the next practical steps to resolve a challenging situation.
Additional gemstones associated with Pisces: aquamarine, bloodstone, rock crystal, sapphire

A medium is a person who claims that he or she can channel another person. Specifically, a person whose body has passed and whose spirit remains. The spirit sends vibrations and energy to the psychic medium who then transmits the images and energies to the person who needs to receive the message from the other side. That sounds complicated, and it is complicated in theory. But, when a medium is good at what he or she does, it can actually give the reader great satisfaction in their ability to help people dealing with the passing of a loved one, or the spirit communicating with the human world. Many mediums get messages through being tuned in to another person’s energy. Mediums can have many different spiritual energies around them at all times.

It is often hard for mediums to go into crowded areas because of the amount of spirits and energies around. I have heard of mediums having particularly hard times sleeping and or being around objects and/or spaces where many people have lost their lives. The immediate areas that I have heard that have been tough are on subway trains, near the 9/11 memorial, and near the town of Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

Mediums do not necessarily do predictions for the past or future. Mediums pick up on a person’s or pet’s energy and transmit that thought to the person being read. Some mediums do tarot card readings or clairvoyant readings, but those readings do not include channeling or mediumship. Clairvoyant psychics also pick up on energy, but the energy can be focused on the person being read versus a person who passed or another entity in that person’s life. Generally speaking, if you are wanting to look into the future, you would want a clairvoyant or tarot card reader instead of a medium. With that being said, you can get excellent psychic readings from all of the above, it just is important to determine what YOU want to focus on in your psychic reading.

It is important to also note, ALL psychic readings being either clairvoyant readings, medium readings, tarot card readings, and etc. are for entertainment. YOU are the biggest asset in a reading. YOUR intuition is very important. Psychics are fun to speak to, but please be reasonable in how you use the information.

Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.: Why Our Unconscious Rules Us and What to Do About It.

One of the common denominators of people who enter therapy is the feeling of being “stuck” in some way. Often there is the feeling of not being able to break out of a set of behaviors, feelings or thoughts. People know “it should be different,” but can’t seem to get things to really change for themselves. Their moods may come and go, but somehow they keep slipping back into old patterns. Regardless of the number of accomplishments, feelings of not being good enough still arise. Regardless of how spiritual, feelings of anxiety emerge. Regardless of how hard they try, up comes the sense of being out of control. So where do these feelings generally come from? The simple answer is from the memories that form our unconscious mind.

The experiences we’ve had in life are stored in networks of brain cells called neurons. These networks determine how we interpret new experiences, and our moment-to-moment feelings. When something happens in the present, it automatically links into our preexisting memory networks, and we respond accordingly. So, for example, when we meet someone new, we may find ourselves liking or disliking the person based partially upon other people we’ve encountered in the past who are similar in some way. These automatic responses occur because the brain is geared to link up whatever happens in the present with our memories of past experiences in order to make sense of the world. If I’d never seen a cup, I’d have no idea what to do with it. If I have previous experiences with cups then I may simply reach out to use it. I don’t have to think it through. I don’t have conscious images of other cups I’ve seen before. It’s just a natural, automatic reaction based upon my memory networks. However, if I’d been hit on the head repeatedly with a cup, I may have a negative reaction to it without consciously knowing why. And when negative feelings like “I’m not good enough” emerge in different situations, the reasons are the same. My memory networks are shaping my current reactions in the world.

The memories stored in our brain are either processed or unprocessed. If they are processed, it means that the brain has done its job and integrated a learning experience into our memory networks. Something happened that was disturbing, but I learned what I needed from it. I fight with a family member and I have a negative emotional and body reaction, but time passes and I think about it, talk about it, dream about it, and soon it doesn’t bother me any more. The appropriate connections are made in my brain and I might realize: “He’s been going through a hard time. We’ve had rough spots before and worked them out.” I decide what action to take and I feel better. In my memory network, what is useful is stored and what’s useless — like the feelings of anxiety or anger — is gone.

That is what the brain is geared to do: make the appropriate connections, “digest” the experience and store it in memory. But sometimes an experience can be so disturbing that the information processing system of the brain becomes imbalanced. When that happens, the experience is stored in an “unprocessed” form and still contains the emotions, physical sensations and beliefs that occurred at the time of the original event. So when I see the person again, instead of feeling OK, I have the same feeling of anger, hurt and anxiety.

What’s important here is that just the sight of the person can trigger the feelings, even years later, whether I consciously remember the fight or not. The negative feelings automatically arise from my unconscious memory connections. The brain is just doing its job, but unfortunately, the automatic connections are being made from unprocessed, rather than processed memories. That’s why numerous divorces occur. The painful unprocessed past experiences (affairs, fights, disappointments) continue to get triggered and don’t let the partners reconcile.

The examples of unprocessed memories I used in previous blogs involved traumas that are used to diagnose post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). But recent research has clearly shown that many kinds of life experiences, even if it is not a “major trauma,” can cause the same types of responses. Of course, sometimes there are organic/hereditary factors that make us more susceptible to certain kinds of problems. But even in those instances, the research generally indicates that experiences are also involved. And any experience that was sufficiently disturbing can get locked into our memory networks as an unprocessed memory.

For instance, being bullied or humiliated as a child is often associated with strong reactions related to “survival fear.” It’s the equivalent of being “cut out of the herd,” which on an evolutionary level means death. So, if your body tightens or you have visceral negative emotions arising when you think of a time you were humiliated in school, that memory is still unprocessed. If you go into a similar situation as an adult, the same negative feelings may arise. For instance, some surveys show that fear of public speaking in the U.S. is even higher on the list than a fear of death. That’s often an example of unprocessed memories from childhood stored in the brain, with emotions arising from the unconscious connections and running the show.

Sometimes our negative reactions may take the form of low-grade “misery” emerging at certain times. But sometimes our responses can be extreme and define the way we view ourselves. Here’s an example from my book Getting Past Your Past:

Stephanie hadn’t been able to work for two years because she thought her coworkers were contemptuous of her. She was sure she smelled because of excessive sweating, even though she bathed twice a day, frequently changed her underwear, and used lots of powder and deodorant. She couldn’t bear to be in social situations because she thought people were talking about her. Over the past 15 years she’d had a number of hospitalizations because of thoughts of suicide and was on three different medications.

Stephanie suffered from a diagnosis known as body dysmorphic disorder. The symptoms are sometimes misdiagnosed, because the negative beliefs involving an imagined body flaw are seen as a “delusion.” However, what we’ve found with EMDR therapy is that, once again, it is simply evidence of an unprocessed childhood memory at work. We use specific techniques to identify the source of the problem, and Stephanie remembered what had caused her suffering:

She was 12 years old and she’d brought in food as her teacher had instructed for her Friday cooking class. Unfortunately the class was cancelled. Returning to school on Monday, she went to her gym locker and took out the bag she thought contained her gym clothes. When she opened it, the room was filled with the odor of rotting fish — the food she’d forgotten and left over the weekend after the cancelled cooking class. Her schoolmates made fun of her, accusing her of dirty underwear. Then she was sent to the principal, who scolded her for poor hygiene.

This event had been stored in her brain. It took only three sessions to process the memory and all the symptoms disappeared and remained gone five years later. It’s not unusual. EMDR therapy results with similar cases were published in the journal, Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy. Decades of suffering had been caused by a childhood event that was profoundly disturbing at the time but had been subsequently forgotten. This happens all the time.

So, the bottom line is that whether your personal problem seems big or small, there is a likelihood that unprocessed memories are at work. The unconscious isn’t really such a murky place after all. It’s simply cause-and-effect reactions that you can learn to identify and take steps to master.

References:

Brown, K. W., McGoldrick, T., & Buchanan, R. (1997). Body dysmorphic disorder: Seven cases treated with eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy, 25, 203-207.

Mol, S. S. L., Arntz, A., Metsemakers, J. F. M., Dinant, G., Vilters-Van Montfort, P. A. P., & Knottnerus, A. (2005). Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after non-traumatic events: Evidence from an open population study. British Journal of Psychiatry, 186, 494-499.

Obradovic´, J., Bush, N.R., Stamperdahl, J., Adler, N.E. & Boyce, W.T. (2010). Biological sensitivity to context: The interactive effects of stress reactivity and family adversity on socioemotional behavior and school readiness. Child Development, 1, 270-289.

Shapiro, F. (2012). Getting past your past: Take control of your life with self-help techniques from EMDR therapy. New York: Rodale

For more information on the EMDR Institute, visit http://www.emdr.com.

For more about the EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Programs, visit http://www.emdrhap.org.

For more by Francine Shapiro, Ph.D., click here.

For more on PTSD, click here.

Celebrate Mardi Gras! – MyDaily Horoscopes.

Fat Tuesday is the last day of Carnival, and the night before Roman Catholics give up their most sinful of pleasures for Lent. No matter what your religion, Mardi Gras is always one big party, celebrated with parades, galas, booze, and in some cases, nudity. Read on to find out how your zodiac sign can make the most of this festive day!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Rams love a party, but they love a challenge even more. If Mardi Gras beads are getting handed or tossed out, this sign will go to great lengths to get them. What’s a little nudity if it earns you bragging rights? To an Aries, it’s nothing at all.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Bulls love getting their hands dirty and decorating, so putting together parade floats for the big day would give them a thrill. As long as this luxury-loving sign gets to relax and celebrate with some top-shelf liquor and traditional New Orleans-style grub afterward, of course.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
This communication-loving sign is going to be wherever the biggest party is this Fat Tuesday. As long as there are plenty of people to chat with — and flirt with — Gemini is on board. You can also expect them to show up with an entourage, as the Twins never travel alone.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Crabs love baking and babies equally, and king cakes are the perfect marriage of the two. Expect this sign to spend the day slaving away in the kitchen, baking little plastic babies into cakes for lucky revelers to find. Maternal Cancers won’t let anyone dig in until everyone’s heard the choking warning, though.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)
Here’s a little known fact — the Mardi Gras flag was created in the regal Lion’s image. How else does one explain the purple, green and gold color scheme, or the crown? Expect this sign to eat all of Cancer’s king cakes in the hopes of earning the title they know they deserve — King or Queen of Mardi Gras.

Virgo (August 23 – Sept. 22)
Like Taurus, this sign wants to get involved in the parade route. Unlike Taurus, however, they want to run the show. They’ll do a good job of it, too, but with their anal-retentive ways, they may put a damper on the party of those on the assembly line.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22)
Libras are the gracious hosts and hostesses of the zodiac, so if you score an invite to their Mardi Gras bash, make it a point to stop by. They’ll have the best decorations, the most authentic food, the liveliest activities and a great selection of jazz and blues playing at just the right volume.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21)
Scorpios love mystery and dressing up, which makes the prevalence of masquerade balls on Mardi Gras as exciting as Halloween for them. Do them a favor, though, and pretend you don’t know who they are — they’re happiest when they think they’re keeping everyone guessing.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21)
Anyone can go to New Orleans for Mardi Gras … boooring! This adventurer would rather his or her celebration be a little farther flung. The Archer is most likely to spend Fat Tuesday in one of its more obscure locales, like Guatemala, Slovenia or the Belgian city of Binche.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19)
Because the Goat generally has a hard time loosening up, Mardi Gras isn’t exactly their cup of tea. However, if you get a few hurricane drinks in them, they may actually start enjoying the revelry. Don’t expect them to start flashing people for beads, though — there isn’t enough liquor in the bar for that.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18)
Not only are Water-bearers the humanitarians of the zodiac, they also enjoy being around intoxicated people, though they aren’t big drinkers themselves. Where else would they go, then, besides New Orleans, where they could spend the day building Habitat for Humanity houses for Hurricane Katrina victims, and then spend the night meeting revelers from all over the world?

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20)
The Fish loves a party and everything that goes with it … drinking, dancing, drinking, socializing, drinking … did we mention drinking? These folks are the lushes of the zodiac, and Mardi Gras is their Christmas. For the sake of your shoes, though, cut them off after the third hurricane drink.

7 Ways To Meet The Woman Of Your Dreams [EXPERT] | Richard La Ruina | YourTango.

Sometimes guys get a reputation for always wanting to play the field—even when we’re in good company–and who are we to fight biology? That said, the truth is the vast majority of men really do want to find the woman of their dreams, the love of their lives, “the one.” It’s just that, for some guys, the process of finding her, approaching her and talking with her seems unthinkable. To ease their quest and help guys everywhere get what they want, I’ve come up with seven sure-fire ways to find her, meet her and talk to her!

• Talk to lots of women. The first step to meeting your dream woman is to understand exactly what you want. You can only do this by talking to lots of women and learning which qualities are important to you.

• Learn from every relationship. A bad relationship is not a waste of time. Every relationship should give you a better idea of what you want and what you don’t want in your ideal woman. Spend some time thinking about this every time you break up with someone.

• When you know what the woman of your dreams is like, think about what kind of man you need to become. It’s fine having high standards in mind for your woman…but try and see things from her perspective. Do you have what it takes to keep her? Are you interesting enough, cool enough, fun enough? If the answer might be no, take some action. Whether it is fixing up your fashion, taking dance lessons or evening classes.

• Think like your dream girl. What kind of places would she go to, what hobbies would she have and what kind of approach would she respond to? If you want a professional woman with a good job, she’s more likely to be in after-work bars or lunchtime sandwich shops near offices than raving at 3am on a Friday night.

• Get into the right social circles to interact with these ladies more often. The easiest way to meet models is to make friends with male models, with the bookers, with the designers. As well as having plenty of introductions, you’ll have a better understanding of their world and be able to talk with them more easily. Of course your ideal girl is unlikely to be a model, so think about the social circles that your dream girl will likely be in and get yourself into them.

• Become a Yes-Man. Invited to a house party, but you’re tired? Say yes. Invited on a weekend trip with some buddies but think it’ll be a little too expensive? Say yes. Life-changing moments happen at the most unexpected times. One thing you can count on is that staying at home is the best way to assure a lack of social opportunities. Put yourself out there as much as possible and start to say “yes!”

• Don’t blow it. What I’ve learned from my own experience and from the thousands of guys who’ve learned these tried and true techniques is if I meet my dream girl, I’ll have a very good chance of getting her on a date, and from there, a good chance of getting into a relationship…and from there of not getting dumped! As always, you stand the best chance when you are prepared. Study the material in The Natural, get your skills up, round off your weaknesses and present your best possible self…because you might not get a second chance at the woman of your dreams.

By incorporating these tips into your game plan, you’re sure to find the process a whole less stressful, more enjoyable, and best of all, very successful! 10 Tips For Finding Love In 2012 EXPERT

Richard La Ruina founded PUATraining.com in 2007 and leads bootcamps around the world that help men gain the skills and confidence they need to attract and approach women. His first book, THE NATURAL: How to Effortlessly Attract the Women You Want has just been published.

In Between Relationships; 10 Antidotes to Loneliness | eHarmony Advice.

Desperately lonely but not quite ready for another relationship? Here are 10 things to do.

I know of a woman who so longed to be loved, held, and not feel lonely that she gave her lover, a man she hadn’t known long and knew to be a criminal, all of her life savings—some forty-three thousand dollars to be exact. He promised, along with his abiding love, that he would give her back her money with interest in only two short months. When she told her friend what she had done her friend pointed out that she had a small child to feed, and reminded her she had just lost her job—and, incidentally, two other boyfriends just like this one. She quickly replied in her defense that he believed in Karma.

Several months passed, having heard from him only once, when she began to inquire about his whereabouts. Hoping to reclaim her inheritance and self-respect, she learned that he had died in an automobile accident and had left behind a young widow and three small children. When she told her friend what she had discovered, her friend asked her what she had learned. To which she replied, “He died in the car he bought with my money.”

For some of us, being internally referenced or taking responsibility for all you experience is a foreign concept. I know it was for me. I, like so many of us, believed that my circumstances were designed or slated by some dark fate, bad luck or perhaps my difficult childhood. And I didn’t have to look far to see many of my role models and contemporaries following suit. Failed marriages and relationships that fell apart like a strand of dominos over the years, all to the Western tune of: “That rotten, no good, cheating son of a, and he even took the dog!” song.

While you’re busy trying to sort out who really did what, whose responsibility your life actually is, and healing your heart, I offer you some “here and now” antidotes to feeling desperately lonely. (So you don’t go and find another relationship just like the last one, or just like our friend’s.)

10 things you can do when you feel lonely:

Feel. I say we gotta feel it to heal it. And if we don’t know what we feel, we don’t know what we need. Get a pillow, sit on the floor and bring it on. Facing our fears sometimes is the perfect answer. Two and three o’clock in the morning are when they hit me the worst. Whatever time it is, facing the boogeyman is ultimately what we all have to do if we want to be free and choose a relationship out of love rather than need (or desperation). If I was gentle, waited and sat with myself long enough, I would begin to feel and heal. I spent many nights (and days) just letting the floodgates loose and seeing what was underneath all my anxiety.

Move. Release what’s inside. Let it out. Oh my, can I just tell you that moving saved my life?! Sometimes I had so much energy, so many feelings welled up in me, that I stood in my kitchen barefoot on the hardwood floor and gyrated around spastically flailing my fists at God and everyone, like James Brown on crack. I screamed and cried and danced and collapsed until I was empty. Running, hiking, swimming, dance classes—you name it, I did it!!

Read. Yes, it is not easy to quiet that restless mind, so pick books that are inspirational and that will engage you every time. Ones that have exercises and great “if I can do it, you can, too” stories. I always had a stack of self-help books and autobiographies nearby, still do. Check out my suggested reading list in the back of Hindsight, or email Anila at anila@maryannelive.com for a copy.

Write. One of my single girlfriends told me she writes herself love letters. One every night, and they get longer and longer. Then when she wakes up she reads them to herself. Whatever you have pinging around up there, put it on paper. Doesn’t matter how you do it. Journal, write letters to God (he/she will answer back). Who knows, maybe you’ve got the next NY Times bestseller in there!! I wrote copious amounts of dark, intensely feeling poetry in words from the 13th century, channeling my “DNA gone bad” from the past. It was so great to get it out of my body!

Collage. I love to collage, as I am very visual. Pulling pictures out of new magazines (great way to recycle) of people, places, and things that made me feel happy or inspired always worked for me. Sometimes I was surprised at what I learned about myself, what I really liked or longed for.

Talk. I must say I had a list of folks who would talk with me in the wee hours of the morning if I needed to be “talked down”… if you know what I mean. Not men, but friends that cared about me, knew my history and were devoted to my heath and well-being. Honestly, I have never been a big phone talker, but when I got lonely sometimes it would take the edge off—just hearing someone’s voice was comforting enough to get me to the next place!

Play. Anyone who knows me knows that this has traditionally been a hard one for me. It conjured images of silly people running about doing things I would never do. That said, I needed to find my version of what healthy fun was. Things that had positive consequences. I started dancing the Five Rhythms (http://www.movingcenterschool.com/), took salsa lessons, ice skated w/ my son, played cards with friends, played ping pong, trained for the Avon Walk (okay, for me training is fun), painted with watercolors, took classes at City College, went to open-air markets. There are a ton of things to do and a million online resources in your area for what I call “clean living,” fun things to do.

Get a pet. I love cats, have two (Chloe and Leila), a dog named Bella and a fish; the current one’s name is Donald. (My niece and nephew named the last three Sparkles One, Two and Three.) I cannot tell you how many times my cats have come and cradled me in the midst of some of some of my most intense loneliness. And I let them. I was learning how to comfort myself when I had only known how to reach to someone else before (most of the time not the best someone, either). And yes, they respect me in the morning, all of them, every time—and best of all, so do I!

*Note from Renee:  If you get a pet, make sure it is a life long commitment for the pet’s ENTIRE life.  *

Laugh. I have always been the type of person who said, “If I am not capable of mustering a laugh, I know something is really wrong!” and then I revert to the above items. Because I genuinely, regularly love to indulge in gigantic belly laughter. I love to laugh at myself and when I am not busy laughing at myself, I seek out opportunities to find the humor in just about everything. I am easily entertained. (My mother once said that if you are bored you are boring.) Comedians on DVD are fab and I recommend getting a library of them—my current fave is Orny Adams, he’s available online. OR a great alternative is funny movies, and my list is long. If you don’t have a library already, it is inexpensive to build, and way less expensive than a one-night stand or bad relationship choice.

Pray. Oh yes, never underestimate the power of prayer. I have said prayers over and over, hoping someone or something out there would hear me, and then one day it happened. I found my Divine connection to…well, The Divine, of course, and have never looked back. It was like coming home, and now I find great comfort in prayer and meditation, as corny or simplistic as this sounds. I know, I know, you are desperately lonely— then I say to you, pray like it!!

For more info about my daily practice, how I found the love of my life, check out my CD series “Thrive, 7 essential truths for revealing your secret, sacred self.”

People who turned their dreams to reality – CNN.com.

We love Oprah.com.  So much great advice and great articles!  – Renee

(Oprah.com) — The Quilter: Kyra Hicks

Twenty years ago, a friend and I were visiting the Taft Museum of Art in Cincinnati and saw an exhibit of African-American quilts. I’ll never forget one particular piece by the artist Faith Ringgold — a family sitting at a Thanksgiving table, with their thoughts sewn into the fabric. I just knew right away: I wanted to tell stories with cotton.

It’s exciting to start on a quilt. I tape paper to my wall and sketch patterns and notes. Going to the fabric store for the right colors or prints feels as important as the actual sewing. And then I clear out a huge empty space in my family room, and I get busy. I don’t know how to draw, so it amazes me that this magical, creative part of me comes out.

Here’s an example: A few years ago, when I was yearning for a date on a Friday night, I asked myself, “How can I capture this feeling in fabric?” So I made a quilt that reads “SBF praying for a SBM to share my quilt.” The image is of a black woman, and if you look really closely, the background pattern is filled with couples. I love layering the story like that.

I probably couldn’t make a living quilting, and I’m glad of that. My 9-to-5 job as a product manager means I don’t have to make quilts to sell. There’s a freedom to being pure to the art, to not being motivated to pay the mortgage with it. My quilts are motivated only by my need to tell my story.

Oprah.com: The 4-Step Plan to Get Your Life on Track

The Coach: Jennifer Smith

As a kid, I was a horse nut, a real barn rat. I would spend every Saturday at the stables, grooming horses, mucking stalls — anything for extra rides. But when I went to college, my obsession fizzled out. I got a job in book publishing and started spending my days in front of a computer, stuck in my head. I like what I do, but as time passed, I just began to crave something wildly different.

Then, three years ago, I came across a video about horses helping children with disabilities. I felt like it was speaking directly to me. On my first day as a volunteer, I was paired with a 9-year-old girl who had severe developmental and physical disabilities. My job was to walk alongside her for support. When she got in the saddle of a big brown swayback, her face lit up. She couldn’t stop laughing! I saw other kids in wheelchairs — kids who spend all day looking up at people — sitting in the saddle and grinning like they were on top of the world. It felt magical. There’s no office equivalent, no matter how much you enjoy your day job.

I’ve since become a certified riding instructor. For six months a year, I’m at the stable on Saturdays from 7 a.m. to 1 p.m. It’s something I don’t technically have time for — I’ve missed weekends away with friends, and I schedule “summer” vacations for March because the program starts in April — but you make time for things that matter.

Oprah.com: 26 Ways to Tell Your Story and Share It with the World

The Cheese-Maker: Elena Santogade

My family is from Wisconsin, so I’ve always liked cheese, but my interest didn’t get intense until a few years ago. I felt antsy at my desk job, so I started a club: Each week a coworker would bring in a few cheeses to share. For my turn, I visited a cheesemonger in a specialty shop. We shared a piece of Appenzeller — sort of like a Gruyère — and I could taste hay and onion. He said, “Oh, the cow must’ve gotten into an onion patch.” I was standing in this busy, fancy shop in New York City and tasting a connection to a cow in Switzerland — it blew my mind.

Oprah.com: 6 Words That Can Change How You Look at Your Life

I started talking to other cheesemongers. They can be a grumpy group, but I’d visit again and again and ask for offbeat offerings. The more I learned, the more I wanted to try crafting simple ingredients into amazing flavors. Making cheese turned out to feel like a big brain stretch. You focus on basic things, like watching milk change, and your mind gets quiet.

My apartment is tiny, but it has become something of a workshop. A kitchen hook drains soft cheeses into the sink. Two small fridges age my wheels of Cheddar and Manchego. I make cheese every week, and I’ve been teaching mozzarella classes as well, so huge pots and bowls are perched on shelves. Anyone who walks in can tell who I am: I’m a cheesemaker.

Oprah.com: 4 Ways to Be Happier on the Job

The Pianist: Ria Dawn Carlo

The first time I saw a piano, I was in first grade. My teacher played “When the Saints Go Marching In,” and that was it: I wanted to play. When the others ran to recess, I would practice scales. My parents didn’t go to church, but I went with my art teacher, to play piano there. I begged for lessons and finally began at age 9. At 11, I told my teachers that I wanted to be a concert pianist. They said the odds were slim, and that I’d have to win the Tchaikovsky Competition — a one-in-a-million shot.

That was pretty discouraging, and as time passed, I grew away from music and instead pursued mathematics. For years I worked as an astrophysicist and had time for little else. But three years ago, when I switched jobs, I found myself thinking of the piano. At age 34, I decided to begin again.

As soon as I sat at the keys, I felt as if I’d entered a room made just for me. In the beginning, I used an electric keyboard and pretended I was on a grand piano. Buying a used Yamaha last year was a real commitment. It makes such a booming sound, my husband and I moved to a bigger apartment so I can play for an hour or two every day. Since I started practicing on my concert grand, I’ve won an international competition and performed at a fund-raiser at Carnegie Hall. Onstage, I could feel myself filling with light. These are the best moments of my life.

Oprah.com: 25 of the Smartest Pieces of Advice from Women Who Started Their Own Businesses

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The mysteries of love – CNN.com.

(Real Simple) — Ten things to know about love and romance, from why we fall hard to why we cheat.

What Rules Attraction?

In general, you gravitate toward people like you. Good-looking people tend to go for similarly good-looking types, and those from a particular socio-economic background favor their own. Experts believe this happens because perceived equality contributes to a stable union. Well-known actresses pair up with rock stars, for example, because such men tend to be as rich and famous as they are. But once you get past the bone structure and bank account and into personality attributes, opposites often attract.

Real Simple: Valentine Gifts for Her

“We’re apt to fall in love with those who are mysterious and challenging to us,” says Helen Fisher, a professor of anthropology at Rutgers University, in New Brunswick, New Jersey, and the author of “Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love.” “This pull to another biological type could also be adaptive,” says Fisher. “If two very different people pool their DNA, they’ll create more genetic variety, and their young will come to the job of parenting with a wider array of skills.”

How Much Do Looks Count?

Physical features are important to both sexes, but a bit more so to men. “During attraction, the parts of a man’s brain associated with processing visual information are more active,” says Louann Brizendine, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco, and the author of “The Female Brain.” “That’s true for women too, but they also show activity in the brain regions that integrate decision making, which suggests they’re thinking about a little bit more than just how he looks.”

Is Love Blind?

Not exactly, but once you’re hooked, your vision gets cloudy. “When you’re in a relationship, you’re aware of the other person’s flaws, but your brain is telling you it’s OK to ignore them,” says Lucy Brown, Ph.D., a professor of neuroscience at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine, in New York City, who specializes in the brain’s response to love.

Studies at the Wellcome Department of Neuroimaging at University College in London found that when romantic partners look at each other, the part of the brain associated with social assessment and negative emotion is relatively dormant and critical judgment is dulled. According to Fisher, this mechanism may have evolved to help people stick together through early, sometimes stressful child-rearing stages.

Real Simple: Valentine Gifts for Him

Can Love Be Addictive?

Love plays havoc with your body chemistry, causing you to act like an addict bent on scoring her next fix. Studies have found, for instance, that serotonin levels decrease by up to 40 percent in the newly smitten, causing some to show signs of obsessive-compulsive disorder, a condition associated with low serotonin — which is why you can’t seem to get the other person out of your head. Additionally, cortisol, a stress hormone linked with the fight-or-flight response, is released, so you’re constantly on high alert. Sound familiar?

Research published by a team that included Brown and Fisher found that people who had recently fallen in love showed strong activity in the area of the brain that produces and receives dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with addictive behavior whose activity increases when you expect to receive a reward. Gamblers and drug addicts experience similar dopamine activity. “You’re not supposed to be satisfied,” explains Fisher. “You’re supposed to be driven so that you can win the person and eventually stabilize your internal chemistry.”

When a relationship ends, you experience symptoms that are similar to an addict’s withdrawal. Your dopamine levels go down, so your mood suffers. Your serotonin levels remain low, so your obsessive-compulsive disorder symptoms may not go away. In response to these imbalances, some scientists believe, risk-taking tendencies go up. “When you can’t have someone but you’re not willing to accept that, you try harder and become more extreme about it,” says Fisher. Paradoxically, she says, this compulsive behavior may help you move on faster: “Either you win the person back or you drive him away.”

Real Simple: Valentine Gifts for Home

What Makes People Commit?

Humans are hardwired to stick together. Intimate relationships trigger the production of oxytocin and vasopressin, chemicals that scientists have nicknamed “cuddle hormones.” A mere touch from a loved one can elevate their levels, and after sex they flood the system. “We think of these hormones as playing an important role later on in the relationship, when you really know the person’s flaws,” says Brown.

Why Are Some More Reluctant to Commit Than Others?

Gene variation may be partly to blame. Scientists at Emory University, in Atlanta, looked at the effect of vasopressin in two closely related kinds of rodents — the prairie vole and the meadow vole. Like humans, the prairie vole is one of the 3 percent of mammalian species that form monogamous pair bonds. The meadow vole doesn’t. But when male meadow voles were injected with a gene responsible for releasing vasopressin receptors, they immediately lost their wanderlust, paired up, and settled down.

The study’s researchers think the number of vasopressin receptors an individual has could lay the foundation for his propensity to commit. “There’s something at work with a couple that stays together for 50 years, bad years included,” says Melvin Konner, M.D., a professor of anthropology and behavioral biology at Emory, who wrote a commentary on the experiment. “It’s hard to imagine that it’s just a question of compatible personalities or strict beliefs.”

Does Love Make You More Trusting?

Lovers do tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses. In one experiment, researchers devised a game in which subjects were given a sum of money to invest with a trustee, either in a lump sum or piecemeal. Anything given to the trustee would triple in value, but it was up to the subject to decide how much to turn over. Half the participants used a nose spray before the experiment that was a placebo; the other half used one with oxytocin.

Real Simple: Valentine Gifts for Kids

Subjects who took the oxytocin were nearly twice as likely to turn all their money over to a trustee. A subsequent experiment at the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH), in Washington, D.C., found that subjects who inhaled oxytocin before looking at pictures of threatening faces had markedly lower activity in their brains’ fear centers. “These results suggest that oxytocin increases trust,” says Thomas Insel, M.D., director of the NIMH.

Why Do People Cheat?

Attraction, romantic love, and attachment involve three overlapping but separate brain systems. “It’s not hard for somebody to sexually desire one person, be infatuated with another, and still want to spend the rest of his or her life with a third,” says Fisher. Because each kind of love serves a unique need and exists in a different context, cheaters are able to divide their emotional resources.

What makes one person more likely to cheat compared with another? The answers are both inconsistent and varied. Fisher suspects the propensity to stray may be stronger in people who have novelty-seeking, dopamine-sensitive personalities. But factors unique to the relationship — a need for attention, a desire to get out of the situation — are just as likely to fuel infidelity.

Real Simple: Funny Valentine Day Gifts

Can Love Affect Your Health?

Research has found that couples in good relationships tend to be healthier and happier. “Happily married couples report lower stress than single people, in part because they provide each other with emotional support in difficult times,” says Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, a professor of psychiatry at Ohio State University, in Columbus. “Lower stress translates into better health and immune function.” For example, people who are in conflict-ridden relationships might see cuts and bruises heal more slowly — by as much as 40 percent, according to a 2005 experiment at the Ohio State University College of Medicine.

And breakups have been shown to cause physical pain. A 2003 study looked at people playing a virtual ball-tossing game. Those people rejected during the game showed activity in the pain area of their brains. “In evolutionary terms, exclusion can be as bad for survival as a real injury, and our bodies automatically know this,” explains the study’s author, Naomi Eisenberger, a postdoctoral scholar at the University of California, Los Angeles.

What Keeps People Together?

Hormones and hard work. Restlessness sets in one to two years into a relationship, according to new research from the Universities of Pavia and Pisa, in Italy. That’s the period in which the chemical activity associated with new love (high dopamine, for example) dies down.

Fortunately, there are ways to keep the spark alive. Sexual contact drives up dopamine levels. Novelty does, too, which is why you tend to feel so good about somebody after taking a trip or going through an unusual experience together. Frequent physical contact is most likely to maintain elevated oxytocin levels, which is why holding hands, stroking your partner, or any other kind of touch can create feelings of attachment.

Less Stress With Meditation: 3 Easy Steps | The Dr. Oz Show.

Psychic readings by phone are extremely popular. With our company, you call, book an appointment, and call the psychic at your leisure. Phone readings are popular because of convenience. It can also be a little more comfortable getting a phone reading because you can sit at home and talk over the phone, versus face to face sharing personal issues.

Many people wonder if a phone reading can be as accurate as a face to face reading. We believe both types of readings can be beneficial. In phone readings, the reader can not actually see you in person. Therefore, the reader has no way to judge you by how you look and only can pick up on vocal vibrations and your energy. Seems the best readings are where a psychic can pick us on energy, a phone reading is very valuable.

Many people are skeptical of psychic readings. Actually, being in this industry for over 15 years, I am also a skeptic. It is good to be skeptical when getting a reading. You should question the advice given by a reader. Readers are human and do make mistakes. There is no such thing as a 100% accurate psychic reading. But, it is fun when you have a trusted reader give great insight into your issues.

Many people like to use their cell phones for readings. This is not uncommon. Being able to get psychic advice at the moment when you need it most is critical. So don’t hesitate thinking that you need a land line. The only thing we DO NOT recommend is getting a reading while driving. If you need to get a reading from your car, please pull over for your own (and, everyone else’s) safety.