Does your name shape your destiny? – CNN.com.

(CNN) — Wes Moore appeared in his hometown newspaper, The Baltimore Sun, 10 years ago because of his impressive academic achievements. Around the same time, he noticed a story in the paper about a jewelry store robbery in which a police officer and a father of five was killed.

He learned one of the convicted killers shared his name.

While Wes Moore the Rhodes Scholar would become a combat veteran in Afghanistan and a White House fellow, Wes Moore the convicted felon was sentenced to life in prison. Their correspondence through letters and prison visits led to the release of the book “The Other Wes Moore” this spring.

“The name was the first thing that drove me,” said Moore, 31, on what inspired him to befriend the inmate.

Other people may have wondered who also lays claim to their name. Google a relatively common name such as “Steve Jones,” and a biologist, musician and golfer appear. And Steve is not even among the Top 10 boys’ names of the last century.

Names are becoming increasingly diverse in the United States. Cleveland Evans, former president of The American Name Society, says more parents are seeking distinctive names for all sorts of reasons, from paying tribute to their child’s ethnicity to giving the child a unique Google legacy.

“They want their child to have something neat or inspiring,” said Michael Campbell, owner of Behindthename.com, a website housing the meanings of about 16,000 names.

Parents are spending more time mulling over what to name their child, said Laura Wattenberg, founder of the book and blog BabyNameWizard.com. The possibilities are endless, and not even experts such as Evans can pinpoint an exact number of names in America.

In recent decades, Wattenberg said popular baby names are becoming a smaller fraction of what parents are choosing for their children.

The Social Security Administration announced this month that Isabella reigns as the top baby girl’s name in America. But even today’s most popular name of Isabella represents only half the number of babies named Mary when it was the top girl’s name in 1960.

The SSA, which began documenting name popularity in 1997, tracks only the 1,000 most popular names each year.

The 1960s, a decade of tremendous political and social shifts, is responsible for expanding the pool of names, several naming experts noted. More Americans began to reject conformity and embrace individualism.

“Nobody wants their kids to fit in anymore,” Wattenberg said. “They want them to stand out.”

One unusual name that made it into the SSA’s 1,000 most popular names recently is Nevaeh, which is “heaven” spelled backward. Other unusual names for babies include picking places such as Brooklyn and Memphis.

Celebrity and ethnicity

Some celebrities are exemplifying the trend. Actress Gwyneth Paltrow stirred up mixed reactions when she decided to name her child Apple in 2004. When Angelina Jolie named her children Shiloh and Maddox, naming experts predicted those names would become popular in coming years. Maddox has already seen steady gains in the past five years, climbing to No. 180 on the SSA list this year.

Parents can be influenced by Hollywood, said Michael J. Astrue, SSA commissioner. He thinks the name Isabella reached the top spot because of the hit “Twilight” movie series, in which the heroine is named Bella. Astrue also speculated the name Lindsay fell from No. 381 in 2008 to No. 524 in 2009 because of actress Lindsay Lohan’s legal woes.

Immigrants to the U.S. historically have adopted more American-sounding names. Italian immigrants in the earlier part of the 20th century sometimes dropped vowels from the end of last names to assimilate.

Now ethnic-sounding names are making a comeback. Some naming experts have cited an uptick in names such as Barack, inspired by President Barack Obama.

Parents from immigrant families may give their children an ethnic name to remain tied to their culture, said Hannah Emery, a graduate student of sociology at the University of California-Berkeley. She is studying naming trends.

Biracial and multiracial couples are more careful of the names they select for their children because they want the name to reflect different ethnic backgrounds, she said.

Naming consequences implied

So what’s the big deal about picking the right name?

If some academic studies are correct, a name can have consequences for a person’s job, residency and even school grades.

One of the most famous studies comes from the University of Chicago in 2003. Professors reported children with “black-sounding” names such as Lakisha and Jamal are 50 percent less likely to receive a call back for a job interview compared to “white-sounding” names such as Emily or Greg.

Brett Pelham, a psychology professor at the University of Buffalo in New York, discovered names can affect where a person decides to live. Women named Georgia and Virginia are about 44 percent more likely to move to a state with the same name, according to his research.

Pelham attributes the naming phenomenon to ‘implicit egotism,” the idea that people unconsciously select things, places and other people that resemble them.

A name can affect academic achievement, said professors Leif Nelson, now at the University of California-Berkeley, and Joseph Simmons at Yale University, in their 2007 study. After analyzing grades, they found students with names that began with a C or D earned lower grade point averages than those that started with an A or a B.

These studies are not absolute. But one thing is clear: A name is more than a name.

“It’s a decision that people really do put in time, effort and weight,” says June Rifkin, author of “The Everything Baby Names Book,” a compilation of baby names released in 2006. “I don’t think it is haphazard. There is a lot of consideration because their child will have to have their name for the rest of their lives.”

Hello everyone!  People often ask for advice on how to get a good reading.  The best way is to start with one of our tested readers.  Then, think about how you want your reading to go.  If you have a question, ask it. 

Often people say nothing or just say “give me a reading.”  The reader then goes with whatever they pick up the strongest.  The thread that they follow may not be the reason you called. 

You are liable to get a great reading about work when you are calling about a love interest. 

Do not be afraid to give the reader a starting point.  For example, say, “I met someone new, his name is ____.  Do you see anything developing?”  Or, “I am in a relationship with _____ that seems stalled, do you see a problem?”  That way the reader focuses their talents in the right area saving everyone frustration.  The trick is a balance between information and expectation.  Don’t say too much or too little.

THE IMPORTANCE OF TAKING NOTES was reinforced the other day when a client that had not called in over a year called and asked for a specific reader.  I noticed that she had indicated that she never wanted to speak to that particular reader again.  I reminded her of her comments.  She said, “I took notes.  Almost everything this reader told me happened.  I want to talk to her again.”  My guess is that the reader told her something she did not want to hear.  I did not press for anymore information.  I was thankful that she had taken notes and called us back!

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Kathryn Budig: Dreaming With Intention.

Are Cats Psychic?.

I rescued a cat today!  He literally reached his paw out to try to touch me as I went by his cage.  How could I resist!?  This led me to this blog post.  Are Cats Psychic?  I think this one is . . .

More often than not when I come in contact with people and ask, “How are you?” the answer comes out, “Things are good, just really busy.” The first part of that answer is often just a reflex, or a socially acceptable response which may or may not be true, but the second part is telling.

The question isn’t so much, how busy are you, but rather: what are you busy with?

In other words, what and who are we spending our invaluable resources of attention on?

Here are two simple steps to help you take stock of your life right now and shift to healthier living:

1. People – We all have a variety of people in our lives, some of them nourishing, some of them depleting. Let’s take a moment to take stock of who we are busy with and if we need to rearrange this at all.
* Make a list of the top 10 people you spend most of your time, list them in order.
* Next to that person’s name, rank them on a scale of 1-10 with 10 being nourishing and one being depleting.

2. Activities – Every day we engage in a multitude of activities, some nourishing, some depleting.

* Make a list of all the activities you go through during the day. Be specific: waking up, eating breakfast, getting dressed, taking a shower, walking to the car, driving, walking into work, sitting at my computer, etc.

* Next to each activity, put an “N” for nourishing or a “P” for depleting next to it.

Now, look at these lists and see if there are any ways to spend more of your attention on the “N’s” than the “P’s.” If your mind pops up and says, “Nope, this is just the way my life is,” allow that thought to come and go and really look at this again.

Sometimes, we have no choice but to engage with people or activities that are depleting. The question then becomes, what are ways we might relate to these people or activities differently to make them less depleting?

For example, when dealing with a difficult person, rather than spending your mental energy hating this person, could it be possible to engage in a lovingkindness practice? In other words, wishing them well. Why would you ever do that? Good question. This practice is not only for them, but also for you, to see how it transforms the difficulty you are experiencing. Plus, if they were feeling well or at ease, odds are they would not be so difficult.

With a difficult activity, is there a way to turn it into a mindfulness practice? For example, when waiting on the phone, which might normally be a source of frustration, can you use it as an opportunity to practice STOP or perhaps just mindfully check-in with how you’re doing? Can red lights be a reminder to breathe, rather than a source of irritation?

These are all ideas that have helped many people. If any judgments arise such as, “I’ve tried everything, this will never work for me,” recognize the judgment as just another thought, a mental event asserting itself in the moment that will eventually pass. That was then. Try this with fresh eyes, a beginner’s mind, as if this was the first time engaging in this practice before.

As always, please share your experiences and questions below, your interaction provides a living wisdom for us all to benefit from.

***
This article is written by Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D. and was found @ http://www.huffingtonpost.com/elisha-goldstein-phd/personal-development-2-st_b_575104.html.

Originally published on Mindfulness and Psychotherapy at Psychcentral.com. To read more of Elisha, visit his blog, Mindfulness and Psychotherapy at Psychcentral.com, or subscribe here. You may also find him at www.drsgoldstein.com.