As a writer and explorer of the inner life, astrology has always fed the springs of my imagination. Like a kind of symbolic almanac, astrology marks the rhythmic ebb and flow of time as it unfolds through the solstices and equinoxes, the phases of the Moon, and the rising and setting of the planets. It reconnects us to that cosmic grid that once organized Old World cultures, synchronizing their religious festivals, planting and daily lives with the heavens. This archaic memory lives within us, stirred awake by the stars above.
It is from the changing cycles of nature that astrology draws one of its key principles: the wisdom of timing. Observing the planets as they make their rounds through the sky teaches that life doesn’t always unfold according to our personal will. Instead, a deeper process weaving its own design seems to be at work behind our lives.
One astrological cycle that I watch closely in this regard is Mercury Retrograde. Indeed, if you haven’t already heard about it, we’re midway through a cycle that began on April 18th, and will end on May 11th, gradually waning in effect until the end of the month.
To those who may be new to this increasingly talked-about phenomenon, let me explain. Three or four times a year, for a period of approximately three weeks, the planet Mercury appears to slow down, reverse direction, and retrace a section of its path around the Sun. It then shifts forward, moving “direct” until it returns to its original starting point. Mercury doesn’t actually stop in the Heavens and go backward–it just appears that way to those on Earth who are observing its motions.
As Mercury is said to rule commerce, travel and all forms of communication, astrologers warn that its reversal can trigger setbacks, misunderstandings and “out-of-the-blue” events. A recent, dramatic example is the eruption of the Icelandic volcano days before Mercury turned retrograde, and that wreaked havoc for travelers and the aviation industry. For this reason, astrologers caution against making major decisions or initiating new ventures during this period of uncertainty. Most advise that this is a good time to undertake anything with the prefix re: redo, review, retreat and reflect.
In our relentlessly forwarding moving culture, of course, such advice goes against the grain. Even despite its growing popularity, Mercury retrograde has earned a bad rap as one of the worst times of the year, when anything can go wrong or fall apart. This is a symptom, I think, of our imbalanced way of life in which delays and obstructions are seen as the work of the devil—when it’s more likely, as Carl Jung said, that “All haste is of the devil.” In fact, I think it’s hardly an accident that Mercury retrograde has become part of the zeitgeist: it’s exactly the antidote we need for our time-impoverished, speed-addicted society.
We have the slow food movement. So why not take time to “slow down with the stars”? Allowing three-week “time-outs” several times a year to take life at an easier pace may be one way of realigning ourselves with what really matters. Would it be such a sin if we took advantage of this astrologically timed opportunity to play more, garden, go on retreat, journal, or simply stop pushing the envelope? Rather than give in to frustration when my electricity suddenly went out several days ago, for example, I spent a pleasant morning chatting with neighbors over coffee at my local convenience store, then reading the newspaper from cover to cover.
There is great foresight, as well, in the cautionary advice astrologers issue around the retrograde cycles. To deliberate over our actions deepens us philosophically and broadens our perspective, revealing the bigger picture behind our everyday lives. One commonplace about Mercury retrograde is that by the end of the cycle, our problems often look quite different from how they appeared at the beginning—yet another reason for adopting a “wait and see attitude.”
In myth, Mercury was frequently portrayed as the “messenger” who shuttled between heaven and earth. Depicted by his winged cap and staff, this ancient god of wayfarers reminds us that life is a journey toward meaning. Guided by this winged messenger, perhaps we can learn to slow down enough to trust the process of life as it unfolds through unexpected twists and unpredictable turns. Mercury retrograde reminds us that without losing our way we might never discover the right path. Retracing our steps along with Mercury, we might also unlock the door to the secret mysteries of time and patience–mysteries that our own modern-day culture has ignored at the expense of our psychological, spiritual and physical well-being.
How do you know who you are? Likely, you add up all the events in your life that you can remember and this helps your form your sense of self or your identity. These moments in your personal history, whether glorious or terrible, are touchstones that you can’t forget. They’ve left an impact–they won’t be forgotten–and when you write an autobiography of yourself, these moments will inevitably be recorded.
Successful people, those people with robust senses of self-worth, remember the good, the diamonds, not the bad and the lumps of coal. They don’t dwell on painful and embarrassing episodes from their past. They wouldn’t even consider allowing these moments to define their identity. The trouble is that the further you go back in your past, the greater the chances are that who you were, or your “remembered” identity, doesn’t match up with who you are. The world is full of people who were incredibly popular and successful–in high school. What’s sadder than the adult who “peaked in high school.”
Then there are those people who made mistakes in their past, but those errors do not necessarily pinpoint with any accuracy who they are now.
Years ago, I had the following conversation with one of my more self-effacing clients. I asked this man, with amazing achievements, to give me a list of his positives and negatives as an executive. Here’s what he told me:
“Well, I’m not very good at follow up,” he said.
“How do you know that?” I asked.
“My biggest screw-ups in business occurred when I didn’t pay attention to my customers,” he said. “I didn’t check up on them as much as they’d like. I didn’t return phone calls promptly. I didn’t always do what I promised to do, at least not in the timely manner they expected. And sometimes I lost customers because of that.”
I took a moment to look at the feedback I had been gathering about this man from his direct reports and colleagues. He was a capable leader, with several thousand employees under his command. He had a few behavioral issues that needed to be dealt with, but “bad at follow up” was not on the list.
“When was the last time a customer gave you negative feedback for poor follow up?” I asked.
“It’s been a while, at least ten years.”
“Then why do you still insist you’re bad at it?” I asked.
“I guess that I always remembered being told that.” He laughed.
This is where remembered identity can cheat us in the moment. While there’s nothing wrong with looking back to the past to sort out your strengths and weaknesses. There is something wrong with holding onto the past and creating a picture of yourself that is someone who doesn’t exist anymore.
This article can be found at http://www.history.com/topics/nostradamus
Born in 1503, this French astrologer and physician published collections of prophecies that earned him fame and a loyal following during his lifetime. In the centuries since his death, people have credited him with accurately predicting pivotal events in history, from the French Revolution to the rise of Adolf Hitler to the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001. According to Nostradamus, the world is slated to end in the year 3797.
Biography
Nostradamus began his medical practice in Agen in 1529 and moved to Salon in 1544, where he gained renown for his innovative medicine and treatment during outbreaks of the plague at Aix and Lyon in 1546–47. He began making prophecies about 1547, which he published in 1555 in a book entitled Centuries. The work consisted of rhymed quatrains grouped in hundreds, each set of 100 called a century. Astrology was then at a peak, and an enlarged second edition, dedicated to the French king, appeared in 1558.
Some of his prophecies appeared to be fulfilled, and his fame became so widespread that he was invited to the court of Catherine de Médicis, queen consort of Henry II of France, where he cast the horoscopes of her children. He was appointed physician-in-ordinary by Charles IX when Charles became king in 1560. The subject of many commentaries, Nostradamus’ prophecies were condemned in 1781 by the Congregation of the Index, the body set up by the Roman Catholic church for the examination of books and manuscripts. Because of their cryptic style and content—commingling French, Spanish, Latin, and Hebrew words—the prophecies have continued to create much controversy. Some of them are thought to have foretold actual historical events that have occurred since Nostradamus’ time, including certain details of the French Revolution of the 18th century. Others, having no apparent meaning, are said to foretell events that have not yet occurred.
—Nostradamus treated plague victims with pills he made from rose petals. He instructed patients to keep the pills under their tongues at all times and also claimed the rose remedy helped fight bad breath and tooth decay.
—In addition to astrology and medicine, Nostradamus knew his way around a kitchen. In 1555, he published a book of recipes for cosmetics, perfumes and fruit preservatives.
—Nostradamus predicted the world will end in 3797.
—While living in Salon in the 1550s, Nostradamus invested heavily in an ambitious canal project designed by engineer Adam de Craponne to bring an irrigation system to the arid region. The canal was a success and still stands today.
—In late 1561, Nostradamus was arrested and briefly detained for failing to obtain proper permission from the authorities to publish his 1562 almanac.
—According to legend, Nostradamus once encountered a young Franciscan monk herding pigs in Italy. To the surprise of onlookers, Nostradamus respectfully addressed the lowly monk as “Your Holiness.” In 1585, years after Nostradamus died, that monk, Felice Peretti, became Pope Sixtus V.
—Legend holds that Nostradamus was buried with a document containing the secrets to his prophecies. In 1700, officials in Salon decided to relocate his coffin to a more optimal location. In the process, they decided to look inside. No document was located; however, a medallion inscribed with “1700″ was reportedly found around Nostradamus’ skeleton, leading people to believe the prophet had correctly predicted the year his coffin would be opened.
—Although Nostradamus died in the middle of 1566, his 1567 almanac was published because he had the foresight to prepare it before his death.
—The house in Salon where Nostradamus lived with his second wife and their children still stands today and is open to the public as a museum. Every summer, the town holds a festival honoring its world-famous former resident.
Telling someone you love them for the first time — especially if they haven’t already said it — can be nerve wracking. In new relationships, it can often be difficult to tell if you’re really in love with this person or if you just think you are because you’re infatuated with them. The trick is to understand your true feelings and what those feelings actually mean to you. Once you’re clear about your feelings, only then should you share them with your partner. Here are some tips to help you do it with ease and confidence.
What Is Love?
First of all, let’s talk about what love is and what it isn’t. These are just my opinions and yours may differ.
To me:
Love is not a relationship status or a label.
Loving someone is accepting someone for who they are, not who they may become.
Love is not taken or earned; it is given freely without expectation of anything in return.
Being in love should feel freeing rather than restricting.
Love for another person means wanting them to be truly happy.
Love has no boundaries and no limits.
So, before you decide to say “I Love You,” make sure that you truly understand what love means to you. That way when you tell your partner that you love them, you can also tell them what that really means to you and open a dialog for them to discover what it means to them as well. Just keep in mind that it may mean something completely different to your partner and that’s OK. I’m sure you’ll find some common ground where you both feel comfortable.
Sharing Feelings Of Love
If you have special feelings for your partner — whether it’s true love or simply the joy of being around them — it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. While it can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that without assurance that your partner feels the same way, I say go ahead and take the risk. Just don’t make a big production out of it.
The trick is to keep it casual and relaxed. Introduce the word “love” into your relationship gradually. Say things like “I love when you do that,” “I love the way I feel when we’re together,” or “I love being your girlfriend.” That way your partner will get used to hearing the word as it refers to your relationship — before you drop the big “I Love You”.
Do They Have To Say It Back?
Part of the awkwardness of saying “I Love You” to someone that they may feel pressured to say it back when they haven’t truly explored their feelings about you yet. It’s important to let your partner know that just because you’ve shared your feelings, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all until they are ready to do so.
Make it clear that you’re simply putting it out there. Most people hear “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let your partner know that’s not the case — you’re not defining the relationship or discussing “where you stand” or trying to put a label on your relationship at all. You’re simply sharing your feelings. Nothing more. Nothing less. No Expectations.
Show Your Love
One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling your partner that you love them out loud will make things too awkward.
Remember, actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let them know you care. For some it’s a kind word or holding hands. For others it’s picking up their favorite snack when you’re at the store or bringing them coffee in morning. Find out how your partner likes to be loved and then do those things.
In the end, the choice of when and how you proclaim your love to your partner is up to you, but if you follow your heart and these simple tips, you’ll be able to express your feelings of love with ease and confidence.
Just wondering if you are enjoying the content of the PSI blog? Are there any topics you would like to see more or less of? We are open to any suggestions! Your input will help mold the blog into the best it can be. Thoughts, ideas, and criticisms welcome
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This week’s post goes to the heart of keeping a long-standing relationship going. If you’re in one – whether with a partner, a spouse or even a roommate – you know that over time, things can get a bit stale. You start having the same fights over and over. You start completing your partner’s sentences, in a way that breeds boredom rather than intimacy. You know – with agonizing specificity – exactly what the other person likes to eat for breakfast.
So it’s time to shake things up a bit. Change the routine. And also change the way you act towards the other person. You’ll be surprised how well it works. Here are five concrete suggestions for how to do this:
1. Make a small gesture. Happiness blogger Gretchen Rubin lists “Give Proofs of Love” as one of her resolutions. By which she means that it’s as important to demonstrate your love to someone else as it is to love them. Perhaps even more important. There are lots of ways to show someone you love them. You can buy them a new car. Book an appointment with a career counselor. Decorate their room with their favorite things. But you can also do small things. In my case, I noticed one morning that my husband’s toast had popped out of the toaster and was ready to be buttered. While that’s not normally something I’d do for him (speaking of breakfast routines), one day I decided that I’d do it, just to be nice. Guess what? He noticed. And thanked me. Then I did it again. He thanked me again. And I realized how even a tiny gesture can speak volumes.
2. Defer to your partner on a decision. If you’re in a long-term relationship, chances are you’re making loads of decisions together all the time: where to live, which school to send the kids to, how to balance career/family. Some of those can and must be done together. But occasionally a decision will come along where you can afford not to weigh in as much as you otherwise might. In my case, it’s our upcoming move. I’m a bit of a control freak. (In case you haven’t noticed.) And in an ideal world, I’d probably approach our move somewhat differently than my husband would. But I decided a few weeks ago that I was going to defer to him on this one. He’s less spastic (for lack of a better word) than I am about moving. And it just seemed like a real shame to try to micro-manage this particular event in our lives (and all the stress, anxiety and quarrels that would likely provoke), so I just let him take the lead. And you know what? We’re both more relaxed about it now.
3. Make A Sanctuary. Once you’ve spent years in a relationship of any sort, it’s easy to start letting other parts of your individual lives (work, kids, relatives) invade your space together. Try not to let this happen. Obviously, you can’t seal off your relationship completely. But you can at least try to protect it. I had one set of friends (a couple) who made a rule that “all work stays at the door.” By which they meant that their bedroom would be a sanctuary. They were both allowed to work in the evening – they had to, sometimes – but when they were finished working, all work had to stay by the door literally outside their bedroom. I thought this was a great idea.
4. Carve out Time. Of course, a sanctuary isn’t any good to you unless you actually spend some time there. So in addition to demarcating your private space, you need also to do things together inside it. Whatever you enjoy most. In my own case, my husband and I try to set aside time every night to talk about the day and then watch something together – a DVD commentary, a BBC documentary, The Daily Show. Another couple I know makes a point of eating dinner together every night after their daughter goes to sleep (*he* cooks, mind you!), even if it’s 9:30 or 10 o’clock at night. Still another couple I know takes a run together once a week in the morning and stops for tea mid-way through. It doesn’t really matter what you do, but that you do it together.
5. Go On An Overnight Getaway. Ok, this advice may be less good for the room mates at hand. But if you’re in a long-term romantic relationship, a great way to re-ignite that flame is to go on an adventure. If you can’t afford to pay for a hotel and sitter, then see if you can send your kids to a friend or relative and have the night to yourselves in your own home. That can be just as fun. If you can afford to splurge once in a while, it’s well worth the effort. We had some friends in Chicago who spent the entire weekend of their 10th anniversary at a hotel in downtown Chicago just nine miles away from where the live. They had a blast. Last week, we managed to finagle a free room in a fancy hotel in London while my mother was visiting. True, we were on the smoking floor. But I can’t tell you how much fun it was to get dressed up and go down to Soho and have dinner at a chic restaurant on a Thursday night and then amble back (at a leisurely pace!) to our fancy digs. Bliss!
This article was written by Delia Lloyd on April 26, 2010 01:00 PM found via http://www.huffingtonpost.com/delia-lloyd/5-ways-to-improve-a-long_b_547429.html
Follow Delia Lloyd on Twitter: www.twitter.com/realdelia
It seems like we’ve been talking so much lately about some of the problems and issues surrounding love — cheating, sex rehab, divorce — that sometimes we forget to talk about what makes a relationship successful. In order to have a successful relationship, you need to fall in love with the most important person in your life.
Do you know who that person is? That person is you.
You can’t have a successful relationship, be loyal to someone, and even be a good parent, unless you love yourself. You must be honest with yourself and truly know yourself.
So many people come to me and tell me, “David, I am so sick of being single. I am so frustrated with dating. I hate dating and I hate being single! I wish I could just meet somebody.”
Think about those words and what they mean. If you wish that upon yourself, you are going to meet somebody — somebody who is going to be frustrating, who may cheat on you and someone with whom you are not aligned.
Instead, what you should be saying to yourself is “I love who I am. I am satisfied with who I am. I love my life. Another person is just going to add to that life.”
Do you remember in the movie Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise tells Renee Zellweger, “You complete me?” No, that is all wrong. You should complete yourself. You are a perfect circle all on your own.
Granted, we all have imperfections and things about ourselves we don’t like. When you truly accept and love who you are, however, you really are a perfect circle.
When you meet someone, it should be two perfect circles meeting each other. Nobody is ever going to “complete you.” You need to complete yourself.
I tell every person who is single to go out and date yourself. Do things that you love. Plan a weekend around things that you love. Take trips to places you love. Read books that interest you.
To meet people, go to places about which you are passionate. That way, you can easily carry on a passionate conversation.
If you are already in a relationship, take a breather for a weekend. Go visit friends or family, or go away by yourself. Go and figure out who you are, what you want, and what your needs and desires are. Do this so you can fulfill those needs and desires, and so you can communicate them to your partner.
Falling in love is wonderful, but falling in love with yourself is essential. Take some time and make some lists — a list describing who you are, a list describing what you want, and a list describing how you want your life to be.
Spend some time getting deep with the most important person in your life: you. Forget about your partner and the kids for an hour, and get to know yourself again.
If you are single, really take this time to get to know who you are and fall in love with yourself. Do this so that you can attract and meet people who are going to compliment you and add to your life. This is the path to an amazing relationship.
How do I know all of this? I have been coaching people for fourteen years, and I do all of this myself. This is how I live my life, and this is why I am so in love with the woman in my life.
It all seems so daunting: Climate change. Carbon credits. Not to mention biofuels, hydrogen power and solar energy. The vocabulary of a new century. There’s a lot to learn.
The news is full of disturbing reports about global warming, threatened species, and the gradual realization that the way we live — particularly in developed nations — will have to change if we want to enjoy a clean and sustainable future.
But there’s no reason to feel overwhelmed. Every journey begins with a single step. We’ve rounded up the 10 easiest ways for you to start moving toward a lighter lifestyle. Some cost nothing at all. Others provide a lot of bang for your eco-dollar. In every case, these ideas will save you money, cut energy use, and help balance your household’s greenhouse gas budget — the amount of carbon dioxide released into the atmosphere to produce goods or electrical power.
So pick a few, and give them a try. Before long, you’ll establish the habits we all need to develop as we face the challenges of a resource-hungry planet.
1) Make the switch to compact fluorescent light bulbs (CFLs). Just a few years ago, CFLs were bulky, expensive, and hard to find. Thanks to environmental commitments by companies such as Walmart, CFLs are now readily available for about $2 each. That’s more expensive than incandescent bulbs, but lumen for lumen (the unit by which a light bulb’s brightness is measured), CFLs use much less power. They also last up to 10 times longer than regular bulbs. That means that the average CFL bulb will save $30 in energy costs over the course of its life. According to the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, if every American household were to swap just one bulb to CFL, we would save enough energy to light more than 2.5 million homes for a year and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of nearly 800,000 cars.
2) Monitor your thermostat. Small changes make a big difference over time. Make a note of where you normally keep your thermostat. Once you’ve got an idea where it is usually set in the summer and winter, make the Two Degree Pledge: up two degrees in the warmer months, and down two degrees when it’s cold. Check Lighter Footstep for energy-efficient ways to stay comfortable through the seasons, and save up to $100 a year on your power bill. That’s equivalent to 1 ton of greenhouse gases which would have been produced by the energy you saved.
3) Clean or replace your air conditioning filter. Depending on where you live, air conditioning filters can get dirty in a matter of days. An air conditioner with a clogged filter has to work harder, which means higher power bills and the creation of more greenhouse emissions. Running clean, you can save up to $150 each year. You’ll also enjoy the benefit of fewer allergy causing particles in the air, and a more comfortable home or office.
4) Unplug idle appliances and electronic devices. Just because that cellphone charger doesn’t have a phone attached to it doesn’t mean it’s not drawing energy. Devices such as televisions with standby modes can use up to half the power they would draw when turned on. Don’t just turn something off: unplug it. The average household can save up to several hundred dollars a year just by pulling the plug on silent energy vampires.
5) Buy a low-flow shower head with a shutoff valve. In most homes, you can replace an old-style shower head with a modern unit in about 15 minutes. You’ll reap two-pronged savings, both in water and the energy you’d have used to heat it. You’re also saving your community the power it would have used to treat the wastewater. The benefits can be pretty impressive, since water heaters account for about 25 percent of home energy use. Put several hundred dollars back into your budget each year and keep water use to a minimum.
6) Drive smarter. In real world testing of common fuel-saving tips, the Edmunds Automotive Network found some surprises. First, it’s a good thing to keep tires properly inflated, and this is a commonly recommended strategy for saving gas. But Edmunds found other ideas that make a more noticeable difference. Use your cruise control on the highway for up to a 15 percent improvement in mileage. Driving less aggressively is the single most effective way to save gasoline: accelerate out of lights more gently, avoid rapid braking, and only drive as fast as you must. And turn off your engine rather than idling excessively. If your car starts reliably, consider shutting it down at long lights. Skip the drive-through window, park and walk your business inside whenever possible.
7) Get an annual tune-up for your car. At $200 to $300, a full engine tune-up sounds like a pricey way to save fuel and money. In practice, it’s a good investment. A faulty oxygen sensor, for instance, can penalize your car up to three miles per gallon. Worn spark plugs and dirty air filters can cost you another four mpg. It all adds up fast. Set a fixed time each year to give your car the attention it needs. And check that fuel cap, while you’re at it. A loose or poorly sealed cap will vent gasoline vapor, polluting the air and costing you up to two mpg. Tighten up!
Dust off that bike. Bicycles are the most efficient form of human transportation, and the only thing they burn is calories. Consider if bike commuting might fit your lifestyle. Even if this isn’t the case, bicycles are a healthy and environmentally friendly way to run those short errands. You’ll need a helmet, a good lock, and proper lighting if you’re out before dawn or after dusk. Start by resolving to use your bicycle instead of a car just once a week and build from there. Keep an eye out for more articles on choosing an appropriate commuter bike and outfitting for comfort and safety.
9) Go meatless once a week. If you’re not already practicing a vegetarian diet, consider cutting back on the amount of meat in you consume. As Frances Moore Lapp pointed out in her bestselling book, Diet for a Small Planet, livestock production absorbs 16 pounds of grain and soy feed for every pound of meat that actually gets to the plate. Each calorie of animal protein requires 78 calories of fossil fuels to produce, and irrigation directly associated with livestock production (including feeds) amounts to about half of all the consumed water in the United States. Give meatless substitutes like Boca Burgers a try, or scan vegetarian recipes for healthy and earth-friendly meal ideas.
10) Buy local; buy in season. According to the nonprofit group Sustainable Table, the typical carrot travels 1,838 miles before it ends up in your kitchen. That’s a lot of food miles, and a tremendous amount of wasted fossil fuels and packaging. Buying regionally produced food is a keystone of sustainability: not only does it save the energy costs associated with shipping bulk produce, it keeps a portion of your grocery money close to where live. So locate your local farmers market and add it to your weekly errands. You’ll be supporting local growers while enjoying fresh, seasonal produce. You can keep up with the latest advice and tips on eating local with MNN’s Food blogger, Robin Shreeves.
And you’re on your way
By the time you’ve taken a few of these steps, you’ll probably be thinking of other actionable ways to present a lighter environmental footstep. And that’s how meaningful change begins: consistent, incremental improvements to the way we manage our personal and community resources. Join with Lighter Footstep in fashioning a wiser and more sustainable future.
Dust off that bike. Bicycles are the most efficient form of human transportation, and the only thing they burn is calories. Consider if bike commuting might fit your lifestyle. Even if this isn’t the case, bicycles are a healthy and environmentally friendly way to run those short errands. You’ll need a helmet, a good lock, and proper lighting if you’re out before dawn or after dusk. Start by resolving to use your bicycle instead of a car just once a week and build from there. Keep an eye out for more articles on choosing an appropriate commuter bike and outfitting for comfort and safety.
