I am a big fan of aromatherapy. I always have a candle burning here in the office. This time of year I am in the process of transitioning from my cinnamon and clove candles to more of a spring/fresh/lemon aroma. It puts me in the mood to clean and renew. Later in the spring and throughout the summer, I use lavendar essential oil. It is wonderful!

Anyway, you can find more information here:

http://www.aromaweb.com/

We are not associated with them, so be sure to be careful when placing orders. They look like they have a great site and definitely have very valuable information on aromatherapy and its benefits.

Nobody’s exempt from pain. Not even self-help book authors! In my book, THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK, I confess how within one year, so many bad occurrences happened, I kept waiting for a Candid Camera crew to appear from behind the planter in my living room!

First, the real estate broker, real estate lawyer, and moving company I hired found sneaky ways to rip me off. Next, a longtime business buddy hired me to package new groovy chocolate bars, then never paid me. But those were nothing compared to the lowest point: a sexual assault by someone I knew as an acquaintance.

I share all this because I want you to know that I fully understand how painful and challenging life can be.

Thankfully I also understand how with right psychological resiliency tools at your disposal, you can bounce back from a set back — often even stronger, wiser, happier.

After my sexual assault, one of the main things keeping me in a negative place was this uncomfortable feeling of “victimhood.”

It felt particularly weird to be in a so-called victim position, because I am an optimistic self-help book author, not a helpless little twig being tossed topsy and turvy in the winds of uncontrollable fate.

Is that melodramatic of me to write or what?

But that was how I felt after the assault — out of control. I became anxiously aware that anything could happen to me at any time. And this sense of not being in control over my life created a lot of anxiety.

Later, as I began researching resilience psychology (for myself as well as a book on this subject) I discovered some interesting studies about this subject of “control.”

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reported that the number-one contributor to well-being is not money, good looks, or popularity! No, the biggest life goodie is “autonomy,” defined as “the feeling that your life — its activities and habits — are self-chosen and self-endorsed.”

Studies at the University of Michigan confirmed that “Having a strong sense of controlling one’s life is a more dependable predictor of positive feelings of well-being than any other objective conditions of life.”

In one famous study, researchers randomly gave mice either cheese or electric shocks. The mice did everything they could to avoid the shocks and get more cheese, but when they figured out that their actions had no effect, they lapsed into a state of passive listlessness. When they were eventually given the choice (autonomy) to avoid the electric shocks or get more cheese, the mice were so bummed out they just lay there, choosing not to do anything at all!

Similarly (but with better results), psychologist Judith Rodin encouraged nursing home patients to exert more control in their lives by motivating them to make a few key changes to their environments (to decide if the air conditioning should be on or off or how furniture should be arranged). Rodin also pushed patients to request changes in various nursing home policies, which they subsequently received. As a result, 93 percent of these patients became more alert, active, and happy.

It just goes to show that, unlike a mouse, we humans are lucky to have this thing called “consciousness.” We know better than to give up, even after our autonomy has been challenged.

Meaning? If right now you’re feeling so sideswiped that you’re tempted to do nothing but lie around, sleep late, and watch TV — don’t! Instead increase your feeling of autonomy by increasing what psychologists call your “internal locus of control,” the power you have to make easy, small changes.

Here’s how it works: Today create three deadlines for new projects and three exciting events to be shared with loved ones. Mark all six of these plans down on your calendar. Then do these things and meet these people in a timely, efficient way. Establishing deadlines — then meeting them — will absolutely help you to start to feel like the feisty, kick-ass dominatrix of your destiny that you know you are!

Karen Salmansohn ( www.notsalmon.com ) is a best selling author with over one million books sold. Salmansohn’s personal mission is to share information which leads to our world’s transformation – to help this world bounce back from its all too many challenges and conflicts.

Want more resiliency psychology tips? Check out my book, THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK: HOW TO THRIVE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, SETBACKS AND LOSS (loved/recommended by Anthony Robbins and Deepak Chopra) by clicking this line right here, right now.

Oh – and if you got something positive out of this article, I’d be BIGTIME appreciative if you spread the viral word – by posting it on FACEBOOK, or TWITTER, or emailing it to friends/family/crushes. Also you can sign up for weekly happiness tips at my famous and FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter at my site, by clicking this line, right here, right now.

Tonight we are celebrating the official Chinese New Year. It is officially the start of the year of the pig.

You can visit Wikipedia here for more details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year

This article is written by Karen Salmansohn on February 12, 2010.  Found on Oprah.com

Remember how Frank Sinatra sang “Do Be Do Be Do”? Well, Frank’s a great crooner—but he’s a dyslexic self-help guru. To live your happiest life, you gotta sing “Be Do Be Do Be Do.” What happens if you focus on being before doing?

Right now, you are probably walking around thinking a variety of things such as:
“I want to make lots of money.”
“I want to have lots of loving, loyal friends.”
“I want men to find me sexy and appealing.”
“I want a wildly happy love life.”

Now, to get a lot of money, friends and love, you need to act in a way that attracts more money, friends and love. What qualities do you need to improve to attract more successful life results in your life? Are you being disciplined, organized, warm, loving, patient, self-loving, intuitive, calm, confident, courageous, open-minded, generous and empathic?
Your identity will always determine your destiny. Who you think you are and who you actually are will always affect what you choose to do—and how people and the world at large respond to you.

For this reason, it is very important to write a to-be list every day—even before you write your to-do list. After all, who you think you are will always affect not only what takes the top spots on your to-do list, but even how well you are able to check off your to-dos.

A quickie example: If you value being a good, loving, caring, empathic friend with lots of loving friendships in your life, then you might add in some extra friendship to-dos on your list—checking in with friends regularly to see how they are doing. If you first focus on being a good friend, you may find that you will be extra aware of being warm, loving, patient, intuitive, calm, confident, generous and empathic—and you will wind up attracting the highest quality friendships you can have.

Think about it: If you are more consistently aware of being a kind, honest, loving, patient, communicative and loyal person—as a result, you will then be creating kind, honest, loving, patient and communicative actions in the world—and, in the end, getting the happiest life results possible!

One way to keep this in mind is to consistently ask yourself: “Who do I need to become to get all that I want in life?”

I love this question. You can solve a lot of your present problems in your life by asking yourself this question and then finding the right to-be list words to focus on, so as to solve your present life difficulties. Can your present problems be made easier by being more patient, more disciplined, more courageous or more forgiving? Where you focus is what you will find.

Specific examples: If you realize that you are not very good at being warmly direct,—being completely honest with your love partner about what’s bothering you—then put warmly direct on your to-be list. Or if you realize you’re not a good listener—and that your love partner may feel unheard—then put good listener on your to-be list.

Start every day thinking, “Who do I need to become to get all that I want and deserve in life?” Then, brainstorm your to-be list and focus on one or two of the to-bes you most desire. If there is a moment when you are tempted to not be your to-bes (and there probably will be), immediately refocus and repeat a mantra that goes something like this: “The old me used to be very reactive and say things in the moment without thinking. The new me is peaceful, empathic, loving and calms down before speaking. I am responding, not reacting.”

By constantly repeating mantras like these, you will retrain your brain to think like the new you all the time—creating new actions, new perceptions and better life options! Now, go and be!

Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn’t be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.

Website link is : http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Make-Your-To-Be-List-Before-Your-To-Do-List/1

The lunar new YEAR OF THE TIGER started February 14, 2010.  This Chinese New Year is one of the most important celebrations in China.  The Year of The Tiger.  Tiger people tend to be thoughtful and empathic.  They can, however, display a little bit of a temper.  Tigers often have difficulty with accepting authority.  Additionally, Tigers may be too slow in making  up their minds.  This may result in a hasty decision that is not in any one’s best interest.    Years of the Tiger in include 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998.

The first day of the Lunar New Year emphasizes a party atmosphere complete with fireworks.  To celebrate the second day of the Lunar New Year, traditionally, married daughters make a point to visit their parents.  The third and fourth days emphasize staying at home resting and remembering lost family and friends.  The fifth day people generally eat dumplings and set off firecrackers to celebrate going back to work.   The seventh day is celebrated as every man’s birthday.  The eighth day emphasizes family with a special dinner.   The ninth and tenth days are set aside as  days of thanks.   Day thirteen is the day to eat only vegetarian food in order to cleanse the body from eating too much food during the Lunar New Year celebrations.    The celebrations usually end by the fifteenth day when families eat soup and light candles outside their doors in order to guide wayward spirits home.

The tested Psychics at The Original Solution Psychics are available to assist you with issues you face as you proceed forward in this Year of the Tiger.  Give us a call, we would love to chat.  

1-800-966-2294

“We just knew you were going to call.”

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