I am a big fan of aromatherapy. I always have a candle burning here in the office. This time of year I am in the process of transitioning from my cinnamon and clove candles to more of a spring/fresh/lemon aroma. It puts me in the mood to clean and renew. Later in the spring and throughout the summer, I use lavendar essential oil. It is wonderful!

Anyway, you can find more information here:

http://www.aromaweb.com/

We are not associated with them, so be sure to be careful when placing orders. They look like they have a great site and definitely have very valuable information on aromatherapy and its benefits.

Nobody’s exempt from pain. Not even self-help book authors! In my book, THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK, I confess how within one year, so many bad occurrences happened, I kept waiting for a Candid Camera crew to appear from behind the planter in my living room!

First, the real estate broker, real estate lawyer, and moving company I hired found sneaky ways to rip me off. Next, a longtime business buddy hired me to package new groovy chocolate bars, then never paid me. But those were nothing compared to the lowest point: a sexual assault by someone I knew as an acquaintance.

I share all this because I want you to know that I fully understand how painful and challenging life can be.

Thankfully I also understand how with right psychological resiliency tools at your disposal, you can bounce back from a set back — often even stronger, wiser, happier.

After my sexual assault, one of the main things keeping me in a negative place was this uncomfortable feeling of “victimhood.”

It felt particularly weird to be in a so-called victim position, because I am an optimistic self-help book author, not a helpless little twig being tossed topsy and turvy in the winds of uncontrollable fate.

Is that melodramatic of me to write or what?

But that was how I felt after the assault — out of control. I became anxiously aware that anything could happen to me at any time. And this sense of not being in control over my life created a lot of anxiety.

Later, as I began researching resilience psychology (for myself as well as a book on this subject) I discovered some interesting studies about this subject of “control.”

The Journal of Personality and Social Psychology reported that the number-one contributor to well-being is not money, good looks, or popularity! No, the biggest life goodie is “autonomy,” defined as “the feeling that your life — its activities and habits — are self-chosen and self-endorsed.”

Studies at the University of Michigan confirmed that “Having a strong sense of controlling one’s life is a more dependable predictor of positive feelings of well-being than any other objective conditions of life.”

In one famous study, researchers randomly gave mice either cheese or electric shocks. The mice did everything they could to avoid the shocks and get more cheese, but when they figured out that their actions had no effect, they lapsed into a state of passive listlessness. When they were eventually given the choice (autonomy) to avoid the electric shocks or get more cheese, the mice were so bummed out they just lay there, choosing not to do anything at all!

Similarly (but with better results), psychologist Judith Rodin encouraged nursing home patients to exert more control in their lives by motivating them to make a few key changes to their environments (to decide if the air conditioning should be on or off or how furniture should be arranged). Rodin also pushed patients to request changes in various nursing home policies, which they subsequently received. As a result, 93 percent of these patients became more alert, active, and happy.

It just goes to show that, unlike a mouse, we humans are lucky to have this thing called “consciousness.” We know better than to give up, even after our autonomy has been challenged.

Meaning? If right now you’re feeling so sideswiped that you’re tempted to do nothing but lie around, sleep late, and watch TV — don’t! Instead increase your feeling of autonomy by increasing what psychologists call your “internal locus of control,” the power you have to make easy, small changes.

Here’s how it works: Today create three deadlines for new projects and three exciting events to be shared with loved ones. Mark all six of these plans down on your calendar. Then do these things and meet these people in a timely, efficient way. Establishing deadlines — then meeting them — will absolutely help you to start to feel like the feisty, kick-ass dominatrix of your destiny that you know you are!

Karen Salmansohn ( www.notsalmon.com ) is a best selling author with over one million books sold. Salmansohn’s personal mission is to share information which leads to our world’s transformation – to help this world bounce back from its all too many challenges and conflicts.

Want more resiliency psychology tips? Check out my book, THE BOUNCE BACK BOOK: HOW TO THRIVE IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY, SETBACKS AND LOSS (loved/recommended by Anthony Robbins and Deepak Chopra) by clicking this line right here, right now.

Oh – and if you got something positive out of this article, I’d be BIGTIME appreciative if you spread the viral word – by posting it on FACEBOOK, or TWITTER, or emailing it to friends/family/crushes. Also you can sign up for weekly happiness tips at my famous and FREE Be Happy Dammit newsletter at my site, by clicking this line, right here, right now.

Tonight we are celebrating the official Chinese New Year. It is officially the start of the year of the pig.

You can visit Wikipedia here for more details:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_New_Year

This article is written by Karen Salmansohn on February 12, 2010.  Found on Oprah.com

Remember how Frank Sinatra sang “Do Be Do Be Do”? Well, Frank’s a great crooner—but he’s a dyslexic self-help guru. To live your happiest life, you gotta sing “Be Do Be Do Be Do.” What happens if you focus on being before doing?

Right now, you are probably walking around thinking a variety of things such as:
“I want to make lots of money.”
“I want to have lots of loving, loyal friends.”
“I want men to find me sexy and appealing.”
“I want a wildly happy love life.”

Now, to get a lot of money, friends and love, you need to act in a way that attracts more money, friends and love. What qualities do you need to improve to attract more successful life results in your life? Are you being disciplined, organized, warm, loving, patient, self-loving, intuitive, calm, confident, courageous, open-minded, generous and empathic?
Your identity will always determine your destiny. Who you think you are and who you actually are will always affect what you choose to do—and how people and the world at large respond to you.

For this reason, it is very important to write a to-be list every day—even before you write your to-do list. After all, who you think you are will always affect not only what takes the top spots on your to-do list, but even how well you are able to check off your to-dos.

A quickie example: If you value being a good, loving, caring, empathic friend with lots of loving friendships in your life, then you might add in some extra friendship to-dos on your list—checking in with friends regularly to see how they are doing. If you first focus on being a good friend, you may find that you will be extra aware of being warm, loving, patient, intuitive, calm, confident, generous and empathic—and you will wind up attracting the highest quality friendships you can have.

Think about it: If you are more consistently aware of being a kind, honest, loving, patient, communicative and loyal person—as a result, you will then be creating kind, honest, loving, patient and communicative actions in the world—and, in the end, getting the happiest life results possible!

One way to keep this in mind is to consistently ask yourself: “Who do I need to become to get all that I want in life?”

I love this question. You can solve a lot of your present problems in your life by asking yourself this question and then finding the right to-be list words to focus on, so as to solve your present life difficulties. Can your present problems be made easier by being more patient, more disciplined, more courageous or more forgiving? Where you focus is what you will find.

Specific examples: If you realize that you are not very good at being warmly direct,—being completely honest with your love partner about what’s bothering you—then put warmly direct on your to-be list. Or if you realize you’re not a good listener—and that your love partner may feel unheard—then put good listener on your to-be list.

Start every day thinking, “Who do I need to become to get all that I want and deserve in life?” Then, brainstorm your to-be list and focus on one or two of the to-bes you most desire. If there is a moment when you are tempted to not be your to-bes (and there probably will be), immediately refocus and repeat a mantra that goes something like this: “The old me used to be very reactive and say things in the moment without thinking. The new me is peaceful, empathic, loving and calms down before speaking. I am responding, not reacting.”

By constantly repeating mantras like these, you will retrain your brain to think like the new you all the time—creating new actions, new perceptions and better life options! Now, go and be!

Karen Salmansohn is a best-selling author known for creating self-help for people who wouldn’t be caught dead reading self-help. Get more information on finding a loving happier-ever-after relationship in her book Prince Harming Syndrome.

Website link is : http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Make-Your-To-Be-List-Before-Your-To-Do-List/1

The lunar new YEAR OF THE TIGER started February 14, 2010.  This Chinese New Year is one of the most important celebrations in China.  The Year of The Tiger.  Tiger people tend to be thoughtful and empathic.  They can, however, display a little bit of a temper.  Tigers often have difficulty with accepting authority.  Additionally, Tigers may be too slow in making  up their minds.  This may result in a hasty decision that is not in any one’s best interest.    Years of the Tiger in include 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998.

The first day of the Lunar New Year emphasizes a party atmosphere complete with fireworks.  To celebrate the second day of the Lunar New Year, traditionally, married daughters make a point to visit their parents.  The third and fourth days emphasize staying at home resting and remembering lost family and friends.  The fifth day people generally eat dumplings and set off firecrackers to celebrate going back to work.   The seventh day is celebrated as every man’s birthday.  The eighth day emphasizes family with a special dinner.   The ninth and tenth days are set aside as  days of thanks.   Day thirteen is the day to eat only vegetarian food in order to cleanse the body from eating too much food during the Lunar New Year celebrations.    The celebrations usually end by the fifteenth day when families eat soup and light candles outside their doors in order to guide wayward spirits home.

The tested Psychics at The Original Solution Psychics are available to assist you with issues you face as you proceed forward in this Year of the Tiger.  Give us a call, we would love to chat.  

1-800-966-2294

“We just knew you were going to call.”

entertainment only.  18+

Every single person who calls Solutions psychics has personal preferences of readers. Clairvoyance is defined as the ability to gain information about an object, person, location or physical event through means other than the known human senses according to wikipedia.com. The reader must have the ability to tap into his or her sixth sense to give the client information on the clients life situation. The readers get to a place where they can pick up visually through meditation and imagery through his or her mind. As a psychic line, we believe that everyone has the ability to connect with his or her sixth sense. For some people it comes very naturally and easily and for others, it may take time to develop the sensitivity to use clairvoyance. Either way, readers usually continue to work to make their connections stronger. The work includes reading for more individuals, learning to pick up on vocal intonations to help connect with the client, and learning to work with spirit guides. There are so many ways for readers to learn to connect with you, it can take years to hone the skills necessary to read professionally.

A great reader is one who truly cares about the client and is consistently working toward a spiritual path in life. Many meditate regularly and work on clearing energy so their sixth sense can shine.

Have a wonderful St. Valentine’s Day!! Sending love and light to you.

I just found this website with links to some audio meditations concentrating on finding inner peace, connecting with others, and rejuvenating the body.

Why not try some meditation and relaxation with this on in the background before your next psychic reading? Enjoy!!

http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Audio-Meditations-from-Sounds-True

This is a great website and is full of wonderful information on soul searching and mind-body connection.

http://www.mypathtv.com/

This website includes information via streamlined video and gives hours of wonderful programming.

You may want to plan ahead and stay away from starting new projects and endeavors. Mercury can cause chaos in mechanical items and communication. Try to start jobs at least two weeks before or after these dates. Or figure out how to work with the energy of Mercury when it is in retrograde.

Mercury Retrograde 2010

* April 17-May 11
* August 20 – September 12
* December 10-December 29

Mercury Retrograde 2011

* March 30-April 23
* August 2 – August 26
* November 23 – December 13

Mercury Retrograde 2012

* March 11-April 4
* July 14 – August 7
* November 6 – November 26

This article was written by: Jill Brooke, Blended Families Expert and Author of “Don’t Let Death Ruin Your Life”. Originally posted by The Huffington Post Online on February 11, 2010 09:42 AM

Leave it to the Greeks to understand the many nuances of love. Unlike any other language, Greek has five words – not one – to delineate the enormity of love: the love derived from friends and family, the love of work, the love for children and the intense passions stirred by a lover.

It is in this spirit that I now host an annual lunch for my girlfriends on Valentine’s Day.

After all, if you don’t have a lover in your life, February can cast a chill to the heart. One year, I felt bad for a friend of mine who was suddenly single and decided to throw this party to perk up her spirits. And it worked. Hurt feelings melt when we feel the warmth from the love we do have, such as the intimacy and laughter of good friends.

I love my girlfriends with all my heart and consider them not only a safety net but a sounding board to steer my life in the best direction, Men may come and go, but my girlfriends will be with me the whole journey and that cocoon of loyal support is one of life’s true pleasures and treasures.

Therefore my friends know that Valentine’s Day becomes the time to shower them not only with appreciation but with specific treats associated with the holiday. (My friends also know that I love to cook and entertain).

Instead of red roses as a centerpiece, I mix it up a bit by putting petal pink roses with red tulips in a lovely garnet colored vase and then sprinkle flowers around the table. At each table setting is a box of chocolates along with a little gift. Usually those gifts are poems that remind me of an experience we shared or one of their signature characteristics – one is a great chef, the other a lover of politics, another fancies Broadway. Or it can be a ticket stub from a memorable concert or a funny book such as Women Porn with pictures of guys who actually vacuum since my friend complains about her husband’s messiness.

Lifestyle writer Carolyne Roehm is another person who is known for her stylish Valentine’s Day lunches.

“Many of my friends are single and these lunches remind us that we have each other,” concurs Roehm. The other advantage of a lunchtime fete is that if you have a significant other, it doesn’t interfere with a romantic evening out.

Lunch consists of a “luscious light soup” such as green asparagus, watercress or zucchini and a salad with red touches – tomatoes, pomegranates or a sprinkling of dried red cherries or cranberries. Or she’ll create a souffle. This simple repast is followed by a decadently delicious dessert which includes chocolate touches. She has a fondue pot filled with melted milk chocolate where friends can dip in either strawberries or heart-shaped cookies.

“Colors of food enhance the effects of a meal,” advises Roehm, “I care about the silverware, the linen, the glasses and the plates matching the type of table being used. I may not be able to solve bioterrorism but making life pretty is what I can do. I want the environment I create to be memorable when people come into my sphere.”

Of course there are many recipes that you can create to maintain the Valentine’s Day theme and hopefully readers will share some with us.

To personalize the day, Roehm artistically wraps a thoughtful gift to each place setting. Often the boxes are as nice as the gifts which isn’t a surprise considering she’s written a book just on wrapping paper. One year for a friend who likes dogs, she gave a picture of a puppy in a silver frame. “One friend had a bad self-image so I enclosed a beautiful black silk short nightgown to give her a boost of self-confidence,” smiles Roehm with girlish satisfaction. Inside Blaine Trump’s box was a commitment to donate to God’s Love We Deliver, Trumps’ favorite charity.

You don’t have to prepare these Valentine Day lunches at home, In fact, Fred Hochberg Chairman of the Import Export Bank for the Obama Administration is hosting his at New York’s Jean Georges Restaurant on Friday since many of his friends won’t be around on Sunday. After leaving the Clinton Administration in 2002 and moving to New York, he was inspired by his pal Mike Berman who had these lunches for pals in Washington D.C. “I started with 20 women and this year we now have 90 coming,” he says. “It’s a way to celebrate friends and now many of my friends also now know each other better.”

As for seating, Fred, the consummate ringmaster and only man allowed, puts all the names in a derby hat and people pull out their name to be seated at a table. These little touches add to the fun.

But it is the spirit of the lunches that resonate with guests after they leave. Because when you plant a seed of true friendship you reap a bouquet of happiness. And luckily at all these lunches, the women also leave with a real flower as well.

The link for this article is http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jill-brooke/arent-your-friends-the-lo_b_458178.html

Follow Jill Brooke on Twitter: www.twitter.com/divorcemama